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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29313618">Andrew gets his wish</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aragorn_II_Elessar/pseuds/Aragorn_II_Elessar'>Aragorn_II_Elessar</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV), Hellraiser (Movies), The Evil Dead (1981 2013)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anya Jenkins Lives, Cenobites - Freeform, Crack, Crack Crossover, Crack Treated Seriously, Crossovers &amp; Fandom Fusions, F/M, Lament Configuration, Not Andrew friendly, Post-Episode: s07e22 Chosen, Post-Season/Series 07, Post-Season/Series 07 Finale, Post-Season/Series Finale, Pure Crack, for fun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 09:02:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>703</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29313618</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aragorn_II_Elessar/pseuds/Aragorn_II_Elessar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Andrew asks Anya for a wish and it is fulfilled, but not in the way he wanted. Pure crack fic. Alternate version of a scene from my 'A creep learns his lesson multiple times'. Not for Andrew fans.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Xander Harris/Anya Jenkins</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Andrew gets his wish</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Disclaimer: I do not own Buffyverse or anything else you may recognize</p><p>These hilarious one-shot ideas just keep on coming. So this is an alternate version of a certain scene from my previous one-shot 'A creep learns his lesson multiple times', or rather, 2 alternate versions.</p><p>And this will be a minor crossover with 'Hellraiser' and 'The Evil Dead'.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Version 1</p><p>Andrew found himself in another bedroom, and this time it was Xander and Anya, both in their inners, and then they noticed Andrew, jumping off the bed as Anya got up. "What? You think you can just join us like that? Unless we get a 2nd Xander, no threesomes!"</p><p>"You little weasel!" Xander snarled as he grabbed Andrew by the back of his shirt and punched his face and abdomen, making him scream in pain. "And you even got knifed, like you deserved."</p><p>"So Andrew, do you want to make a wish?" Anya asked with a smirk, as Xander stopped, realizing what she was doing (In this AU, Anya used a ritual to get some of her powers back post Season 7, though its low scale compared to what she could do, and doesn't really use them other than a few situations).</p><p>"Uhhh, yeah, can I?" Andrew asked.</p><p>"Sure, anything you want", Anya said as Xander put an arm around her.</p><p>"I wish to have sex!" Andrew said happily.</p><p>"Done", Anya said as a puzzle box appeared out of thin air and Andrew caught it.</p><p>"What's this?" Andrew asked.</p><p>"If you solve this puzzle, you can have sex", Anya told him and Andrew looked happy.</p><p>"Thank you", he said as he chanted and teleported away.</p><hr/><p>Later, after being trashed by Faith and mocked by Dawn's conjuration of Bully Maguire, and then healing himself in the infirmary, Andrew sat down, solving the puzzle box, and after hours, managed to do it.</p><p>"YAY! I'LL HAVE SEX!" Andrew said happily.</p><p>Suddenly, hooked chains flew out of the box and tore into Andrew, pulling him apart as he screamed in pure pain while a strange being in a black leather fetish suit and pins all over his head arrived.</p><p>"You summoned us", Pinhead said as other strange beings in similar suits arrived. "Now your soul is ours."</p><p>"NO! I JUST WANTED SEX!" Andrew screamed.</p><p>"This is much better", a familiar voice said as Andrew turned to see skinless Warren among the creatures, also in a black leather fetish suit, and screamed in horror.</p><p>"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Andrew screamed in horror.</p><p>"We have so much to make you feel", Pinhead said as few seconds later, the room returned to normal but Andrew, skinless Warren, Pinhead, the other Cenobites and the box were nowhere to be found.</p><p>The box eventually ended up in an antique store where it was brought by Frank Cotton, younger brother of Larry Cotton, who was father of Kirsty Cotton, the girl who used to go to Dawn's school back when they were in Sunnydale, and this is how the events of the first Hellraiser happened. Andrew eventually ended up becoming 'Chatterer'.</p><hr/><p>Version 2</p><p>Andrew found himself in another bedroom, and this time it was Xander and Anya, both in their inners, and then they noticed Andrew, jumping off the bed as Anya got up. "What? You think you can just join us like that? Unless we get a 2nd Xander, no threesomes!"</p><p>"You little weasel!" Xander snarled as he grabbed Andrew by the back of his shirt and punched his face and abdomen, making him scream in pain. "And you even got knifed, like you deserved."</p><p>"So Andrew, do you want to make a wish?" Anya asked with a smirk, as Xander stopped, realizing what she was doing (In this AU, Anya used a ritual to get some of her powers back post Season 7, though its low scale compared to what she could do, and doesn't really use them other than a few situations).</p><p>"Uhhh, yeah, can I?" Andrew asked.</p><p>"Sure, anything you want", Anya said as Xander put an arm around her.</p><p>"I wish to have sex!" Andrew said happily.</p><p>"Done", Anya said as Andrew suddenly found himself in the nearby forest. A tree suddenly came alive and the vines trapped his legs, making him scream in horror as the vines pulled him down, restraining him, and then started crawling on him.</p><p>"No, no, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"</p><p>And then Andrew passed out as the tree let him go, Anya having undone the spell, thinking Andrew had learnt his lesson.</p><p>And after that, he was beaten by Faith and taunted by Dawn's Bully Maguire again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The main protagonist of the first Hellraiser film is called Kirsty, and the girl from 'The Body' that is Buffy 5x16 in Dawn's school was also called Kirsty (she was Dawn's own Cordelia, a cheap rip-off of course, because Cordelia was amazing), so I decided to make them the same for fun, even if they're not, since we didn't know the 'Buffy' Kirsty's full name.</p><p>And Andrew becoming Chatterer is pretty fitting too.</p><p>The tree bit was a reference to that messed up tree scene from the original Evil Dead.</p><p>Hope all enjoyed and see you all next time with some other update. Stay safe from the coronavirus ya all!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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